Self-Improvement
3:31 PM
The last glimpses of 2014 are fading and 2015 is becoming clearer and closer with each passing hour. With the approach of a new year, many people (including myself) contemplate what they want to be different after the ball drops. New Year's resolutions are extremely popular. People want to save money, eat better, or work out more. I used to work at a gym and my co-workers and I would hate the few weeks after the new year when gym attendance would triple and make our jobs far more stressful. While I would resent people coming into the gym, I have absolutely no problem with New Year's resolutions. People reflect on their current lives and then consider what they can personally do to improve their lives and anything they aren't quite satisfied with. I love that resolutions are things people have to do. People (including myself) oftentimes complain about what they aren't satisfied with in their lives but then ignore the fact that sometimes they can do something to improve their situation. Obviously, this isn't always the case, but it is sometimes. The new year and the resolutions people often feel they need to make to be a part of society are ways people can take charge of parts of their life to be happier and better.
Now, while I fully support New Year's resolutions, they also have their faults. About 92% of people do not keep the resolutions they make. That's a staggering, disheartening statistic. These resolutions are promises to ourselves, and we as a society can't even keep promises to ourselves. Another issue with New Year's resolutions is the postponing of improvement that occurs before New Year's. If people want to change something about themselves, they shouldn't have to wait until a new year starts. Unfortunately, New Year's resolutions are so popular that often that is one of the big times of the year for people to stop and reflect and analyze their lives. However, these faults do not take away from the fact that people should strive to improve their lives and consider how they could change their lives to better themselves.
Allow me to be a hypocrite for a moment. I, like so many other people, am only considering how I want to improve my life because the year is winding down. The talk of resolutions is becoming more prevalent, and I've been reflecting on my life currently and what I want to be different. So, here we are at the cusp of a new year and I'm planning to make some changes in 2015. While I have no problem with the idea of New Year's resolutions, their success rate is so slim that I don't want to call my plans for changes "resolutions" in order to maybe avoid potential failure. But I do have plans for change in 2015, which is partially why this blog exists.
I've been a college graduate for less than a year and my life has already become a monotonous routine. I wake up, go to work, come home tired, make dinner, watch TV and then sleep. Nothing about my day is stimulating. I used to be very creative. When I was younger, I was always making crafts, drawing and writing. I wrote songs as a teenager and played an instrument. I used to regularly make videos and uploaded them to YouTube. These creative outlets brought me so much comfort and improved my happiness. But I've quit all of these activities throughout the years because "I haven't had time." And honestly, that's bullshit. I've had time. I've just chosen to spend my free time mindlessly being a slave to the internet or the television. In 2015, I want to waste less time and create more. I want to sketch, improve my photography skills, make more videos, and write more. Blogging is one of the many writing outlets I plan to take. So, the birth of the blog is a result of my plan to create more in 2015. Hopefully, I can change. To anyone else planning to change in the new year or any time, good luck. We're in this together.
xx
4 comments
Hey Hannah, I clicked through to your blog and saw my face at the top of the page and being self involved and narcissistic had to read on a bit ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those people who also has a bit of a problem with the concept of the new years resolution. The band I'm in is called The New Resolution, at least in part, because of these feelings. I feel like new year's resolutions have become those things we make that we have no real intention or drive to actually commit to. Like you said, if they were that important, why did we need to wait until the new year to start going after them at all?
It's only natural to reflect at the end of the year. Its a cyclical thing and it makes perfect sense. A year is coming to an end. How was that year? What can we do to make the next one better? The problem is, I think that we associate new year's resolutions as things that we want, but we feel a little bit ashamed of. They are, after all, normally changes we want to make in the person we view ourselves to be. Things that we see in ourselves that we find unattractive or less than admirable. And I think its this shame that holds us back. The idea of making the change embraces the idea that there is something about us that is not ok, something that we are ashamed of, and shame is one of the worst things that we can feel. So we avoid it, and to avoid it, we avoid acknowledging that the changes we want to make are important. And once the changes aren't important, we've already told ourselves its ok not to make them.
Are your changes important? Or are you ok going home after work, watching Netflix and calling it a day?
I think you did a brave thing last year taking that job. The whole time I was reading that post, I was pulling for you to take the pay decrease and do something you love. You have that drive and passion inside of you. You've already shown it.
Wow, this is turning into "preachy Blake vlog mode" I hope it doesn't come off that way. All I really wanted to do was ask how your year is going because I know how challenging it can be. Its challenging every day.
So... how is your year going?
Hey! First off, hopefully you don't think I'm a crazy stalker person because I used one of your videos in my blog post. I just happen to like your videos and follow you on Twitter. Just a disclaimer, I'm not crazy.
DeleteI definitely see your point and agree with shame being the thing that holds us back from change. It can definitely be hard to admit we aren't satisfied with something in our lives.
To answer your questions, I could give you the longer, more specific version with more explanation... but that's a little much to write in a comment. So, yes, my changes are so important (in my opinion, at least). Because I am not okay or happy or fulfilled repeatedly working all day, coming home to watch Netflix in bed, and then falling asleep. This monotony is slowly making me more and more unhappy as time passes.
To be honest, the last half of 2014 and the beginning of 2015 have been some of the most challenging points in my life so far. Challenging financially, emotionally, mentally, and even physically (seriously, is there like an energy switch that turns off when you accept your diploma? Because staying up late used to never be a problem, but now I'm tired all the time and consider going to bed at 9 pm every night). I am working to change my life, though. I know I'm dissatisfied, so I'm trying to change that. Unfortunately, change is hardly ever immediate. So, even though I'm making strides in the right direction, it doesn't always feel that way.
For example, the job I have now... I still love what I do (I handle promotion/outreach/social media for the study abroad office at the university I graduated from). It is something I'm passionate about. But the pay sucks and the position is only a temporary contract (which wraps up in June). It might be renewed, or it might not. But even if it was, one thing I want to change in my life is my location. I've lived in the same place for 5 years, and it was a great place to go to school for awhile, but I've grown very disenchanted with it for several reasons I won't go into. I feel trapped in my town and at my alma mater. So, I've been exploring other options and applying for jobs in new places. Now, it has become a waiting game as I try not to let the fear of rejection take over. It's kind of ironic you left this comment yesterday because yesterday was really challenging. I had a major setback with trying to make changes in my life. Quick story time... basically one of the careers I'm really interested in is working for TOMS (as in shoes). I've wanted to intern for TOMS for 6+ years, but I've either been ineligible or something has come up every summer. You don't have to be in college to be in their paid internship program, so I was finally going to apply this year. I've been trying to make changes to help my chances of getting the internship (like meeting with a local business owner who had interned with TOMS a couple years ago and some other things). I was feeling kinda confident. So, yesterday, I went to check if the internship application was open yet. It wasn't, and instead they had an announcement saying they had cancelled the program for this year and would be revamping it next year for business students (which I definitely was not in college). I was (and still am) very heartbroken by this major setback towards the change I was trying to make in my life. (However, let it be noted, after a good night's sleep, I am feeling better about life. I have other interests and passions and career paths I'm interested in. Yes, the door that I wanted so badly to be open is now closed, but there are other doors that I'm going to try to focus on instead.)
Also, don't worry, this didn't come off as "preachy Blake vlog mode." And holy shit, I totally failed to keep this short. Sorry! If you'd like, feel free to tell me how your year is going too! (These might turn into the longest comments ever.)
For clarification, I do not think you are a stalker. This whole thread seems to be quite serendipitous is all.
ReplyDeleteAlso, about what I was saying with shame, that's certainly only part of the equation. I think I kind of went on a little tangent without thinking too much about what I was saying. I mean, I still hold by what I said, but I certainly don't think its that simple, which may be the way I came off.
I'm sorry to hear that this year has been such a challenge thus far. Of course, how we rise to those challenges is part of what defines our character and all that yeah, yeah, yeah, but still, while we're in the middle of these challenging times its hard to see it that way. I try to hold on to the idea that this is all just temporary, and when I get though a challenging period of time I'll be better for it and be able to look back on it and smile and be proud of how far I've come. I guess you could say I'm also in a bit of a spot at the moment, and this is the way I've been trying to think for the past month.
The being tired thing... I know what you mean. I think it could be a number of things, but I'm definitely there, or sometimes am and sometimes am not. I'm actually making pretty thorough examinations of where I'm at this year, from a mental, physical, spiritual place. I think my exhaustion comes from losing the childlike optimism and sense that I can do anything. I was invincible in high school and college, and then you get out into the "real world" and it can be soul crushing. You get into these unfulfilling routines and can't see a way out. That can be really exhausting. And the added financial woes definitely don't help.
I don't think you should give up on the TOM'S idea yet. It may not be the immediate possibility that you had hoped it would be, but it could still be a possibility down the road. You can also think of it in a different way. You aren't losing an opportunity, you are gaining the opportunity to really explore other options and see what other things might excite you. What is it about TOM'S that you love? Is there an alternative?
My year... It's been something.
I am currently unemployed, which was planned, but is going a little longer than planned and is beginning to really cause stress, but I guess I should start further back.
I quit my job in mid December to focus on artistic endeavors. I'm in a duo, we call it alt-pop/mood-pop. We both took all of January off of our jobs, I quit outright as I said, to write and record a new album, and that turned out wonderfully. January was amazing, and I don't regret my decision at all. I'm under a lot stress right now, but January was a real eye opening experience. I know that this is the path I'm on now. I've never been good at being on a path, and its good to have focus.
Unfortunately, unemployment is beginning to take its toll. I can fall into depression (non-clinical) pretty easily when I find myself at an impasse. I've been surprisingly good about it so far, but I can already feel it starting to debilitate me a bit. I'm good in fits and starts, but then I'll be totally unable to do anything. So right now I'm coping with that.
I've applied for jobs on jobs on jobs, but I never feel like I'm doing enough. I've applied for a dream job, and its a very small place, but I just cant seem to get anyone on the phone. So I'm just about in desperation mode now, which is never a place I like to operate from.
But hey, the days are getting longer. There will be light. We'll get though it :)
Been such an absolute slacker in responding, sorry!
DeleteI also remind myself that a challenging time in my life is temporary as a way to kinda push through the difficult times.
I think it is absolutely great that you're examining your life from a from a mental, physical, and spiritual perspective. I've been trying to do that as well (partially in an effort to stop being so physically, emotionally and mentally tired. I'm so sick of it, so I need to find a way to pull myself out of it).
I love TOMS for a bunch of reasons (their great products, the stories that they tell with their products, the fact that they started this unique business model that other businesses are now following, their "carpe diem" philosophy, their determination to change the world- even in a small way, their marketing techniques and general aesthetic. The list goes on and all of those things are things I admire in other companies/businesses). I'm not giving up on the TOMS dream, but I definitely am now exploring other opportunities. And it has actually proved to be fun. I've always considered it both a blessing and a curse that I'm not the type of person that has a set focus or career path in mind (i.e. teacher, nurse, accountant) and am interested in so many different fields and jobs. Right now, I'm definitely seeing it as a blessing because I'm really getting to focus on those other fields now that the TOMS door is (temporarily) closed.
Your year definitely sounds like it has been something. I'm sorry that the unemployment is beginning to take its toll and stress you out, but I find it so brave and amazing that you quit your job to focus on your band and other artistic endeavors (even though it is now becoming to feel a bit like a burden). I've been in slightly similar situations before where I knew I needed to change directions or take time off to pursue something else that meant a lot to me, but I didn't do so because I was didn't want to leave the comfort of the familiar and was too afraid. So, I applaud you for that so much.
I totally understand feeling like you're not doing enough when applying for jobs (I'm currently in this same situation). I hope things start happening for you soon and that your dream job works out. Hopefully, we'll keep trying and keep applying and something will turn up soon. Gotta have faith, right?